Of Three Jameses

I dislike people. Especially medical people. Bunch of gossipy crows, the lot of them. Often have I sat in the back of an ambulance or at the Nurse's station and listened to people talk about other healthcare workers without them being present to defend their name. Paramedics aren't immune to it either- I've listened to the EMT and Medic chatter back and forth about this person or that person or the on-duty dispatcher or someone at a fire station today quite a bit too. One of my classmates often proclaims that, if you believe her co-workers, she's been pregnant three times and at least a year overdue. Unfortunately, it's not limited to other personnel- it also includes patients. I've heard medics remarking about a patient after they've dropped them off, and nurses mocking a patient that has stood out as a particularly grumpy person or someone who's clearly wasting the ER's time. I don't like it- there's nothing wrong with humor, but being a slimy little gossip to pass your time? Fuck's sakes people, just bring a book to work or something.

Complaints aside, we recently got another interesting case in the ER. This time, the theme was not a particular complaint, but, rather, a name. We had three guys, we'll name them James, in the ER that day- one for flank pain, one for a motor vehicle crash, and one for massive drug overdose. The flank pain James was actually a pretty nice, pretty average guy. He came in, got assessed, got a couple of shots, and was released with doctor's orders. Neck pain James was a little bit angrier and impatient.

Neck Pain James was a little less pleasant to deal with. He was grumpy at best- though I can't say I'd be particularly happy after rear-ending a delivery truck and then getting placed on a rigid long spine board without any padding for a few hours. Still, it's hard to appreciate somebody as a patient when they're yelling at you to call their room-mate for a largely unnecessary matter. I still gave him a smile, treated him professionally, and helped him get in contact with his friends (though because the phones in the ER are, apparently, wired into the twilight zone, we couldn't reach anyone), and I didn't gossip about him. Much. ">_> Anyway, he was found to have no problems and was soon taken off the spine board and released.

Drug overdose James, well, he was coocoo for cocoa puffs, to put it frankly. Mostly, though, he was seven shades of unconscious. When he'd been brought in by EMS, we were told that he'd been going all over the road until his passenger convinced him to pull over. A passing driver witnessed the whole thing and had called 911- and I applaud them for that. When we first got him in and we started taking history, we ran into an initial problem of him only remembering what he was doing about three words into a sentence before he'd become lost and pass out again. The only thing we could consistently get out of him was that he'd taken Xanax. Apparently, 90% of Georgia's population takes Xanax, because everyone seems to take it. Anyway, we needed to find out what was going on, so out comes the foley catheter and up goes James' wakefulness for a few minutes with cries of "OH GOD, OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING". Those subsided as soon as they were done putting it in and collecting the urine that came out of it.

Believe it or not, kids, drug screens don't lie. This guy had been driving with opiates, amphetamines, methadone, benzodiazepines (diazepam, lorazepam, etc), and marijuana in his system all at once. In order to manage his opiates, we give him Narcan (Naloxone), which will temporarily (30-60 minutes or so) reverse the analgesic/sedative effects of opiate-based drugs (though it's not very effective on synthetic opioids). Sure enough, almost instantly, he wakes up a good bit more than he was before, but he's still just a bit loopy. It's good enough, though, because he's staying awake and he's answering our questions now. Because he'd been driving with evidence of drugs in his system, in comes SO (sheriff's office- shorthand term for Deputies) to interview him and ask if he's going to submit to their drug tests. In the state of Georgia, if you refuse a drug test in reference to suspected intoxication, you're assumed to have been under the influence- otherwise, why would you refuse? This guy thought he'd found himself a nice loophole by saying that he didn't understand over and over and over to the officers, even though he understood the nurse who'd stood by the entire time. SO explained that if he didn't give his consent, it would be taken as a refusal and he'd lose his license to drive for 12 months. He said he didn't understand and that was all they needed.

One more idiot off the roads. It's a dangerous, stupid world out there. Until next time, watch out.